How to trick yourself into getting things done

   So, I’m a chronic over-thinker. I plan until I’m blue in the face, psyching myself out until I don’t even want to take action anymore. Even when I know I need to. Sometimes it works, giving me extra perspective and time to work out how I feel about things. But sometimes (often enough) it doesn’t. And that’s what I want to talk to you about today. 

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Why are we ashamed? (And shame vs. guilt)

   A while back, I wrote about a post entitled “I’m embarrassed about my past (dealing with shame and guilt)”. And if you haven’t read that one, or don’t remember it, I suggest you check it out because it’s a good one. (You can find it here.) But I wanted to pick up from there today, because after that, you may still be wondering, “Okay, but why is it I feel so ashamed?” And that is a really good point. 

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How to discover (and build) your true self

   So recently, we talked about our personal identity. How we pick it up, and how to dismantle the inauthentic parts of ourselves. (If you didn’t read that one, you can find it here.) But once you’ve become aware of the parts of yourself that don’t feel authentic and let them go, how do you discover who you really are, and build up your identity? And so we’re picking the subject back up today. Here’s how to start discovering yourself. 

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Your personal best

   Today I want to talk to you about the idea of “doing your best”. It’s so problematic, because it’s so subjective. Some of us will make very little effort towards something, but then claim we did our best, because we know that people can’t technically argue with that. While still others use it as an excuse to judge themselves harshly for not being better at (insert whatever goal here) yet and burn themselves out in the process. So how are we supposed to find out what our real best is, and actually do it?

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How to apologize

   So, we know that nobody’s perfect. And sometimes you’re going to make mistakes that end up hurting other people. When this happens, the best thing to do is to apologize to them, authentically and thoroughly. Apologies are a great human custom. They’re good for the person who made the mistake, and the person who got hurt. They’re even good for everyone on the fringes of the conflict too. They give a chance for the conflict to draw to an official end, with a true solution, and a reconciliation for all involved. What could be better than that? 

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